At Home I Sit And Cry

Songs of pain for the world, drum , feedback and heartbreak

Jaka Berger: prepared drum, string boxes, modular synth, effects, microphones, feedback speakers

Album At Home I Sit And Cry is the most personal and spoiled solo work in my discography. Creating songs with prepared drums and feedback loop speakers is in it’s nature a very unpredictable process, so blednig the experimental form with songwriting was a big challange. At first the topic of the album was focused towards contemplating the state of society today. The songs therefore address all of us. Being overloaded with work and everyday life we are loosing contact with ourself, facing personal distress and trying to survive. We are getting pulled into a modern human lifestyle where we are focused only in profit, material goods and career and this lifestyle is making us more and more emotionaly numb. While modern world lacks the space for compassion, helping eachother, being open for compormise and is teaching us only individualism, careing only for ourself no matter the consequences and it is making us cold and closeing our emotions. With abundance of virtual life we are loosing contact with others and becoming distrustfull in real life, which is bringing more and more pain and misunderstanding between individual relations.

Dispite my hard personal experiences in the last period im a strong believer in sharing light and good and letting ourself feeling and being emotional no matter the risk of pain this open state can bring. Being emotional is something that is not welcome in todays society, becouse it makes you weak in the eyes of others but i believe it is the only way to opose the cold emotions of human state at the moment.

In this way the album At Home I Sit And Cry is a audiable personification of the tensions, longings, naivety, rejections, love and finnaly heartbreak. With feedback loops overflooding the drums skin i created a sound that fits the anxiety of a heartbreak and with that the album faces the form of a songwriting and a song that is a love song with all the beauty of its pain.